Killing Time

I keep trying to kill time,
but for some reason this motherfucker won't die.
So here I am thinking of a million ways,
to pass the minutes, the hours, the days.
I'm just trying to make it to the other side,
and I'm hoping that you're there at the end of the ride.
There are things I can't explain,
emotions and feelings ingrained,
to my past I feel chained,
I haven't changed.
But, that's impossible though,
'cause I'm not the same me from a year ago.
And yet still I see the difficulty of all this,
every single time we kiss,
I make a wish.
I wish for strength and trust, honest lust,
because besides the trust,
and the strength and all that,
sometimes a girl like wouldn't mind gettin' her ass slapped.
Yeah, I said it, that vulgar shit,
do I sound like I care in the slightest?
But back to killin' this bitch time,
I can't sit still watching the second hand glide.
I wanna stab this bitch, I wanna make her die,
but killing time has never been easy for anybody.
If you figure it out, let me know,
until then I guess I'll just let it go.

Yesterday

Your face looks just like my yesterday. And when I look in the mirror, I see tomorrow in my own. There came a point a while ago when I looked you in the eyes, your familiar lips and cheekbones, and I realized that yesterday you mattered and today you don't. The transition went unnoticed and I'll admit I was surprised. There was a time when I fought with myself constantly about who I'd let you be to me. I obsessed over it, I yearned for more and less and everything in between. You were my second love and my only regret all wrapped into one. I wasted time, I made mistakes. You were my biggest failure and my greatest learning experience. You are my anomaly and I will never understand it and I am settled on that. Never at peace, but I'm settled. You are my yesterday. I am my tomorrow.