He sees me in all my glory, sticky with saltwater and humiliation.
I don't speak. I shiver and back away.
"Lena, please wait. Please speak to me."
I am doing everything in my power to leave his eyes in the dark. Because if they stay in the dark like all of his secrets, then I'll be able to leave him once more. I'll be able to walk away again. I'm still shivering, still backing away into more and more darkness. It almost feels better than the water does on my skin. It envelops me, swallowing away the fear.
And I dive, swimming to shore with all my might. I grab my things and I get back to my place as quickly as I can. I lock the door and I leave all the lights off, keeping myself in the soft darkness, slipping around the slivers of moon on my floor and walls. I run a bath, peel all the wet, briny lace off of my skin, and sink into the warmth. I soak for an hour or so, dry myself and don't bother with clothes. I get in between the cotton sheets and fall asleep as the dark wraps honest arms around me, and allow myself the the most peaceful night of sleep I've had in weeks.